Assassin's Creed: Boringhood

Although not a fan of the series, I nevertheless find myself drawn towards the enigma that is the Assassin's Creed series. I enjoy it's scenic environments and am ever curious about how exceedingly farfetched its historical, conspiracy-laced tale can go. Unfortunately, the last time I played AC:Brotherhood was 6 months ago, and I find it impossible to bring myself back to playing it. As I described with AC2, the game is a test of endurance, and I am simply out of steam.

In AC, it's never made too clear how much you are missing out on if you don't complete the bonus objectives or side missions with perfect results, and so you would be compelled to get it right, or have to forcibly reload by restarting the mission entirely. In AC1, it didn't make a difference, as long as you beat it. In AC2, you would completely miss out on solving the ending sequence, and basically fail to understand a majority of the plot and backstory. In AC:B, you have to complete all optional objectives perfectly, and also complete the main objectives in a predetermined method. This means when I assassinate a target, it has to be with a specific weapon, and with a specific result. So sometimes, I must murder a target, but with a sabre, and throw him into some scaffolding. What frustrates me is that I don't understand why I must do it this way to get full points. I'm an ASSASSIN. What matters is that I am undetected. In AC:B, what matters is superficial requirements that don't make any sense. You'd think I was trying to frame someone or something, but no. Who cares if my target is thrown off the wall when I'm surrounded by 20 guards who are witnesses of my identity? Emphasis has been misplaced on meaningless stipulations, and should you somehow not complete the mission as exactly specified, then you must redo the entire mission, usually involving riding across half the country to reach your mission-start location, then tailing a target for ten minutes, then slowly peeling away layers of vulnerable guards, then sneaking in barely any time left. In short, it is tedious work that balances on the edge of a blade that drags on for 20 minutes, until you wonder why it is so difficult to do something as menial as finding a backalley pickpocket.


The checkpoint and saving systems don't help either. You can only save outside of a mission, and loading the game doesn't take you back to where you were last. It merely saves the progression of your game, but usually spawns you at your HQ (in a very isolated part of the country). Automatic checkpoints are rarely interspersed throughout 20-30 minute long missions, but can only be restored upon your death, so you'll frequently beg for the guards to impale quickly you so that you won't have to replay the mission's stalking sequence. Should you choose to complete the mission, despite not completing all the bonus criteria, you can retry it later, but death no longer restores the previous checkpoint, instead exits you out of the replay mission, and back to where you are currently. You can thank console gaming for the trend of lacking genuine, robust save systems. Replayed missions also restore the equipment, abilities and progression you had when you completed the mission the first time, so once you beat it with terrible equipment, it will never get any easier, no matter how long you delay it. Completing a mission is a commitment, and the results will not likely be changed. Any sane player would choose the order of missions wisely, and not attempt to rush through any of the mission sets unless they complete them perfectly first try. You'll do a lot less loading and dying if you just do it right the first time.

The tediousness of it all really takes the fun out of the missions, even if they weren't as cookie-cutter as they are. I feel more sneaky and cunning playing Fallout or Deus Ex. In AC:B, I find myself using stupidly effective combat or assassination techniques in sequence to blast through how stunningly boring it is, which of course, doesn't help me get those super-special bonuses needed to unlock VITAL parts of the game. =_=. Dear developers, it isn't a bonus if it is needed to understand what the fuck is going on in your twisted universe which otherwise seems like a floundering excuse for a plot. Of course, it's marketed as a complex interwoven net of conspiracies and history, but really, it's more like peeling the countless layers of an onion, and having your eyes tear all the while.