This is a continuation of my previous part found here.
So you beat the game and you found the endings unacceptable. You want to know what the fuck happened and don't wanna end with those pitiful excuses for endings. There are four more endings. The true endings for either characters. And two alternate secret endings. For example in Momohime's ending Kongiku was punished for helping Junkuro and turned back into a normal fox and Junkuro died and sacrificed himself to save Momohime. Then Momohime wakes up with no memory and lives with an elderly couple until Oni's come and attack and she fucked them over with her Oboro style. She goes "what is this scary power" and goes around searching for the answer with Kongiku who is a normal fox. The end. WHAT THE FUCK. For Kisuke's ending you randomly meet Momohime out of nowhere and kill Junkuro's spirit and saves her. Then Torahime is like do me one last favor before I die and makes Kisuke Momohime's servant because Kisuke is madly in love with Torahime. Then Momohime goes "Lets go around and collect all the Muramasas!" The end.
You're thinking "Ok maybe the super secret super ending is better!" Nope! Its in fact worse. Worse than you can possibly imagine. First of all to get the ending you must first, beat the game with both characters. Then you must beat the White Monster Lairs which are only available after you beat the game with both characters. In here you fight series of challenges. You are rewarded with secret swords. Then you must equip two very specific swords and go fight the last boss with your two characters. Here you will find your true ending. Then after beating both you must get to maximum level wear the best sword in the game and fight again for the alternate ending. You must be going this is a lot of work. MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.
How would you like a game where you have to grind over and over again to reach the maximum level just so you can have a real ending. Because the regular endings go "this is not the end..." and tease you while giving you no fucking conclusion. To level you go fight challenge bosses. Theres one boss who is the easiest boss in the game but gives 12x the exp of every single boss in the game combined. So what you do is endlessly fight this guy until you level. Kill, save repeat. Kill, save repeat. I have to ask. Why do you need to level up to equip a sword? What is the point. If I got it just let me use it. The problem is, even after equipping it, it does nothing to help. Everything in the game scales to your level. A shitty ass boss does 7k damage a hit. What in the fuck is that? I thought the boss is level 35. How the fuck he do 95% of my health in a single hit when I'm max level.
Then you have fucking retarded pointless random encounters. I never pointed this out before but I'll point it out now because of how tedious it became when I realized how much running around there are. For example, Momohime's final dungeon will take at least five minutes to walk from beginning to the end without anything in your way. With random encounters this goes up to like an hour. Not exactly but it sure feels like it. Every four steps you take you fight enemies. I got a item from a challenge boss which says "greatly reduces random encounters." That item is a lie. Instead of fighting every four steps, you fight every six steps. Hardly any help. I did not notice any fucking difference with or without the item. You cannot run from combat either and while shit scales with your level you can't blow through them all instantly and move on. You're forced to fight and fight and fight. Why bother when you're max level? Nothing. You already wasted an hour grinding the boss so you can wear your fucking sword now you have to waste another hour walking to the last boss again.
So there I am pissed as fucking hell reach the final boss again make sure I have the final sword equipped, fight the guy. Notice he's scaled to fucking hell, beat his face in easily and then wait for the alternate ending. ONLY TO FIND OUT ITS A PIECE OF SHIT. Instead of Junkuro being killed by Fudoo-Mudoo, Buddha's bodyguard, you managed to kill him with your sword. Now you go back in time. You're Junkuro in human form and you see Momohime and her fiancée running from the castle that should have killed her. Instead of killing her and taking over her body like you did before. You let her go and walk away. Then you go into the future where its Momohime getting married with her fiancee and its hinted that Junkuro has taken over his body and is marrying you instead but since you went back in time Momohime never knew about Junkuro. Then the ending goes "It is said Momohime given birth three times and lived to be over 100. You have reached the end of The Pandemonium of the Oboro Sword."
WHAT IN THE FUCKING SHIT. I fucking did all that and this was what I got? WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY THINK THIS WOULD SATISFY ANYONE. First of all. Junkuro is like 60 years old and Momohime is 12. Fucking her finacee is like 35 years old. The worst part is that if I want to see Kisuke's alternate ending which would probably be just as fucking shitty, I would have to do all this again. But why would I? I would rather fucking play HoN, LoL, and DotA at the same time with 4 feeders on my team in each game while playing Persona 3 and 4 on the TVs while blasting Friday by Rebecca Black on repeat and having my dick sawed off by a chainsaw while cutting my stomach open with a knife. That is less painful that fucking playing this game again.
DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME.
EVER.
Save yourself from the years of nightmare and torture you get from playing this game.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Muramasa: The Demon Blade Part 2 - More filler content than actual gameplay
This is a continuation of my previous one found here.
Now that I went back and finished Kisuke's route, the only thing I can say is what the fuck. At first I thought Kisuke's story would be related to Momohime's story but no. These two are completely irrelevant. They don't cross over except you see them in hot springs and say one word to each other. A lot of games do the finish the game with two or more characters to have the full story shit. I always hated those. You are already attached to your first character. Why do I have to beat the game again to see the full story? Why not have multiple paths and endings so we can discuss with others and see what we got differently? Instead we get one confusing half of a story with no ending and no fucking answers. Until you play the other half you're in the dark. When you play the other character you notice that he or she is a giant dipshit and you don't feel like playing it again.
For example something like Mana Khemia 2 where you have to pick between the slave guy or the country bumpkin. I started off with the slave and you are forced into school by this girl who is your master and she literally drags you around everywhere. You reluctantly do whatever she says because hey she owns your life. Basically the whole half of the game is how you hate Manas and how she has a crush on you but you are oblivious as all fuck. If you play the country bumpkin you are this dipshit chick who is a giant airhead and pisses you off every opportunity she gets. Her story is about raising a Mana egg. The stories cross over a lot as both of these teams are rivals at school and you often fight against or with each other. Their team often joins your party as a guest and you are often helping the other team in quests or stuff. Thats alright. I get the majority of the story and each team has their own individual storyline.
Something similar but a little different is Arc the Lad where you play the story of two brother separated at birth. You have to play both of them at the same time as the storyline switches between them from chapter to chapter. One goes from one side of the world the other goes from the other. They never meet and just barely miss each other. One person is fighting for the monsters one person is fighting for the humans and they all hate each other. Until finally at the climax you both meet for the first time and then find out whose behind all that shit and team up brother with brother and fuck them up. That game had a nice story and combat was fun as heck.
But I'm getting carried away from the main point. Muramasa is neither of those. Its two confusing halves of two confusing stories with no ending no climax no character development. Hell the fucking filler content is more than the actual gameplay. You spend more time walking to the next location than actual storyline or boss fights. I finished Kisuke's route in a little over three hours. THREE FUCKING HOURS. And funny part is, over 75% of the game was walking from one side of the world to the other. The storyline is pathetically short. You must be asking, how do you develop characters in an RPG in three hours? The answer is you don't.
I liked Momohime's route a lot more than Kisuke's mainly because Momohime is always travelling with Junkuro who taken over her body and using it to kill gods and demons. Then theres the foxgirl Kongiku the servant of Junkuro and her fox friends who faithfully does everything Junkuro says. Basically her story is Junkuro is out to find the evil sword to gain unlimited power and fuck the world. You actually get travel companions with you and actual dialogue. Kisuke's route is you are this dipshit ninja who lost his memory. How cliche. You're this loner who travels around trying to find your memory and beating up the wrong people like a retard because you're being tricked. Following you is the foxgirl Yuzuruha who tells you that her master sent her over to help you by giving you swords to collect souls of the slain and forge demon blades. Yuzuruha is way better than Kongiku. First of all Yuzuruha doesn't talk like a dumbass, have breasts exploding out her clothes, and doesn't refer to you as master. She does do the little spin-around thing while holding her paper umbrella which is a little distracting but its forgivable. She doesn't really help you or do anything to aid you really. Shes hardly even in the story and only appears to say something then disappear. Kisuke is always and forever alone.
Kisuke's story is mainly about Torahime, Momohime's elder sister who died and was resurrected for 49 days. In those 49 days she's looking for revenge for the death of her entire family and clan. What I found retarded is Torahime is related to Momohime and Kisuke is related to Junkuro yet neither of their stories overlap at all. You would think its perfect to come together eventually but no. Its just two stories doing their own shit. The worst part is it still gives you half a story. So in total you get a quarter of the game in each route. Fuck this game.
One thing I have to point out is this game lets you forge a ton of swords. These names are all impossible to remember you just have to look at the stats. Each sword has a different secret art, basically skills unique to that sword. They also have a special stat such as +1 strength, +10% more damage to all swords, 50% fire resistance. Then theres the attack power of the sword itself. As cool as that sound, most swords you get and use for less than five minutes before you toss them for a better one. You might consider keeping one for their stats or secret art but no you rarely ever need to use them. Normal random mobs are too easy to need it. You might use it once or twice to wipe them out fast but your normal hits can kill them just as fast. For bosses you don't use the secret arts because you need to keep your sword power to block attacks. You can carry three swords with you at a time and you can switch at anytime during combat. Each sword has its individual health bar which is drained by blocking or from using their secret arts. Once a sword breaks your damage is neutered and you cannot block. When you sheathe a sword, it will slowly recover their health. A broken sword needs to wait until it gets full health before its fixed. Therefor the only reason you get a sword is for their attack power. Then you slash the boss until it breaks and switch to another.
Another thing is cooking. I pointed out how slow and tedious it is to make food. But there are actually two types of food. One type of food is shit that you can carry like rice balls you can make out of a pot and then gently knead it in your hands, baked potato by cooking yams under leaves, and grilled squid by sticking a fucking squid into the fire. These take forever to make but are cheap easy healing when needed. You can carry them with you into battle. The other type are hotpots. You cook them but you have to eat them right away. These are pure shit. You cannot cook in combat so the only reason to use them is if you are low on health from random mobs and you wanna heal up. They are also expensive a shit to make so you're better off eating a squid or something. However unlike the other type of food, hotpots always gives buffs. These buffs only last like 30 seconds so if you use it then fight a boss it wears off by the time it actually starts. Using it to clear random mobs are pointless because how easy they are. So what are the use of these? Nothing. Just for the food porn where you watch it get eaten away bite by tiny bite and comments on how good it taste. Fuck just go to a restaurant instead. At least you get to taste it.
Most good games you don't want the story to end yet, while shitty games you can't wait for it to actually end. For this game I'm torn between the two. I want the game to end but since theres no story or real ending I want it to keep going so it can actually give me something. I think even Blade Kitten has more story and depth to the game than this. You should just think of this game as a side scrolling action platformer than an RPG. The combat is fun. Yes its easy but its fun. Some people may find it a bit difficult but I was around 9-18 levels below the recommended levels the entire game and I managed to beat it fine. I was like level 23 by the time I finished the game on Kisuke's route. I couldn't even use half the swords I got from bosses because I was so underleveled. Funny thing is this is supposed to be the "hard mode." The real hard mode is unlocked by beating a game on either character.
There was some confusion from what I said before. When you start a new save, you automatically have two saves on your one save. One is Momohime's one is Kisuke's. By selecting your save you are able to pick between the two. The time spent and swords collected in either save gets totalled into your main save. If you wish to play the hardest mode you must start over after you beaten either Momohime or Kisuke. That is complete bullshit. Why fucking tease us with a mode we will never play. Should just enable it so on your second playthrough you can feel challenged. And after beating the game on both characters you can finally unlock the blocked monster lairs. All fucking three of them. In there you fight the same bosses as you fought in the main game but this time you fight more than one at a time! Gasp! Fucking too lazy to make real content and have to resort to repeating content into filler content. This game is pathetic and I take back anything good I said about it in part one of my review.
One last thing about this game before I'm done. When you play this game you'll learn that all Japanese women can't or refuse to fight and will whine at every opportunity they get. Seriously when you first meet Torahime you tell her that a woman wearing armor and going off into battle is stupid and should stay home. Then you kick her ass. Momohime cannot fight and will whine at every opportunity. In Momohime's route you fight a thunder god which you would think would be powerful as fuck but no. You just smack her then she falls down from the sky and reveals her ass and you have to spank her while she moans for maximum damage. Then she loses and the other lightning god is like stop being stupid or I'll stop liking you and she's all like what thats mean waaaah whineee whineeee. Fucking horrible portrayal of women in this game. Then again this is Vanillaware, known for their extreme sexism.
Now that I went back and finished Kisuke's route, the only thing I can say is what the fuck. At first I thought Kisuke's story would be related to Momohime's story but no. These two are completely irrelevant. They don't cross over except you see them in hot springs and say one word to each other. A lot of games do the finish the game with two or more characters to have the full story shit. I always hated those. You are already attached to your first character. Why do I have to beat the game again to see the full story? Why not have multiple paths and endings so we can discuss with others and see what we got differently? Instead we get one confusing half of a story with no ending and no fucking answers. Until you play the other half you're in the dark. When you play the other character you notice that he or she is a giant dipshit and you don't feel like playing it again.
For example something like Mana Khemia 2 where you have to pick between the slave guy or the country bumpkin. I started off with the slave and you are forced into school by this girl who is your master and she literally drags you around everywhere. You reluctantly do whatever she says because hey she owns your life. Basically the whole half of the game is how you hate Manas and how she has a crush on you but you are oblivious as all fuck. If you play the country bumpkin you are this dipshit chick who is a giant airhead and pisses you off every opportunity she gets. Her story is about raising a Mana egg. The stories cross over a lot as both of these teams are rivals at school and you often fight against or with each other. Their team often joins your party as a guest and you are often helping the other team in quests or stuff. Thats alright. I get the majority of the story and each team has their own individual storyline.
Something similar but a little different is Arc the Lad where you play the story of two brother separated at birth. You have to play both of them at the same time as the storyline switches between them from chapter to chapter. One goes from one side of the world the other goes from the other. They never meet and just barely miss each other. One person is fighting for the monsters one person is fighting for the humans and they all hate each other. Until finally at the climax you both meet for the first time and then find out whose behind all that shit and team up brother with brother and fuck them up. That game had a nice story and combat was fun as heck.
But I'm getting carried away from the main point. Muramasa is neither of those. Its two confusing halves of two confusing stories with no ending no climax no character development. Hell the fucking filler content is more than the actual gameplay. You spend more time walking to the next location than actual storyline or boss fights. I finished Kisuke's route in a little over three hours. THREE FUCKING HOURS. And funny part is, over 75% of the game was walking from one side of the world to the other. The storyline is pathetically short. You must be asking, how do you develop characters in an RPG in three hours? The answer is you don't.
I liked Momohime's route a lot more than Kisuke's mainly because Momohime is always travelling with Junkuro who taken over her body and using it to kill gods and demons. Then theres the foxgirl Kongiku the servant of Junkuro and her fox friends who faithfully does everything Junkuro says. Basically her story is Junkuro is out to find the evil sword to gain unlimited power and fuck the world. You actually get travel companions with you and actual dialogue. Kisuke's route is you are this dipshit ninja who lost his memory. How cliche. You're this loner who travels around trying to find your memory and beating up the wrong people like a retard because you're being tricked. Following you is the foxgirl Yuzuruha who tells you that her master sent her over to help you by giving you swords to collect souls of the slain and forge demon blades. Yuzuruha is way better than Kongiku. First of all Yuzuruha doesn't talk like a dumbass, have breasts exploding out her clothes, and doesn't refer to you as master. She does do the little spin-around thing while holding her paper umbrella which is a little distracting but its forgivable. She doesn't really help you or do anything to aid you really. Shes hardly even in the story and only appears to say something then disappear. Kisuke is always and forever alone.
Kisuke's story is mainly about Torahime, Momohime's elder sister who died and was resurrected for 49 days. In those 49 days she's looking for revenge for the death of her entire family and clan. What I found retarded is Torahime is related to Momohime and Kisuke is related to Junkuro yet neither of their stories overlap at all. You would think its perfect to come together eventually but no. Its just two stories doing their own shit. The worst part is it still gives you half a story. So in total you get a quarter of the game in each route. Fuck this game.
One thing I have to point out is this game lets you forge a ton of swords. These names are all impossible to remember you just have to look at the stats. Each sword has a different secret art, basically skills unique to that sword. They also have a special stat such as +1 strength, +10% more damage to all swords, 50% fire resistance. Then theres the attack power of the sword itself. As cool as that sound, most swords you get and use for less than five minutes before you toss them for a better one. You might consider keeping one for their stats or secret art but no you rarely ever need to use them. Normal random mobs are too easy to need it. You might use it once or twice to wipe them out fast but your normal hits can kill them just as fast. For bosses you don't use the secret arts because you need to keep your sword power to block attacks. You can carry three swords with you at a time and you can switch at anytime during combat. Each sword has its individual health bar which is drained by blocking or from using their secret arts. Once a sword breaks your damage is neutered and you cannot block. When you sheathe a sword, it will slowly recover their health. A broken sword needs to wait until it gets full health before its fixed. Therefor the only reason you get a sword is for their attack power. Then you slash the boss until it breaks and switch to another.
Another thing is cooking. I pointed out how slow and tedious it is to make food. But there are actually two types of food. One type of food is shit that you can carry like rice balls you can make out of a pot and then gently knead it in your hands, baked potato by cooking yams under leaves, and grilled squid by sticking a fucking squid into the fire. These take forever to make but are cheap easy healing when needed. You can carry them with you into battle. The other type are hotpots. You cook them but you have to eat them right away. These are pure shit. You cannot cook in combat so the only reason to use them is if you are low on health from random mobs and you wanna heal up. They are also expensive a shit to make so you're better off eating a squid or something. However unlike the other type of food, hotpots always gives buffs. These buffs only last like 30 seconds so if you use it then fight a boss it wears off by the time it actually starts. Using it to clear random mobs are pointless because how easy they are. So what are the use of these? Nothing. Just for the food porn where you watch it get eaten away bite by tiny bite and comments on how good it taste. Fuck just go to a restaurant instead. At least you get to taste it.
Most good games you don't want the story to end yet, while shitty games you can't wait for it to actually end. For this game I'm torn between the two. I want the game to end but since theres no story or real ending I want it to keep going so it can actually give me something. I think even Blade Kitten has more story and depth to the game than this. You should just think of this game as a side scrolling action platformer than an RPG. The combat is fun. Yes its easy but its fun. Some people may find it a bit difficult but I was around 9-18 levels below the recommended levels the entire game and I managed to beat it fine. I was like level 23 by the time I finished the game on Kisuke's route. I couldn't even use half the swords I got from bosses because I was so underleveled. Funny thing is this is supposed to be the "hard mode." The real hard mode is unlocked by beating a game on either character.
There was some confusion from what I said before. When you start a new save, you automatically have two saves on your one save. One is Momohime's one is Kisuke's. By selecting your save you are able to pick between the two. The time spent and swords collected in either save gets totalled into your main save. If you wish to play the hardest mode you must start over after you beaten either Momohime or Kisuke. That is complete bullshit. Why fucking tease us with a mode we will never play. Should just enable it so on your second playthrough you can feel challenged. And after beating the game on both characters you can finally unlock the blocked monster lairs. All fucking three of them. In there you fight the same bosses as you fought in the main game but this time you fight more than one at a time! Gasp! Fucking too lazy to make real content and have to resort to repeating content into filler content. This game is pathetic and I take back anything good I said about it in part one of my review.
One last thing about this game before I'm done. When you play this game you'll learn that all Japanese women can't or refuse to fight and will whine at every opportunity they get. Seriously when you first meet Torahime you tell her that a woman wearing armor and going off into battle is stupid and should stay home. Then you kick her ass. Momohime cannot fight and will whine at every opportunity. In Momohime's route you fight a thunder god which you would think would be powerful as fuck but no. You just smack her then she falls down from the sky and reveals her ass and you have to spank her while she moans for maximum damage. Then she loses and the other lightning god is like stop being stupid or I'll stop liking you and she's all like what thats mean waaaah whineee whineeee. Fucking horrible portrayal of women in this game. Then again this is Vanillaware, known for their extreme sexism.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Gender Inequality - Character Gender Roles
Video games have always been male dominated as I have already said before in another post. Its pretty chauvinistic but its nothing like the pure shit that is anime. Its the most misogynistic shit ever and anyone should be ashamed for watching it. But moving on from that video games seems to be doing better and better. Maybe more women started picking up games or maybe more women are developing games. There are always talk about how badly women are portrayed in video games yet no one really knows what makes a strong character. Not even the developers that made the character.
Men in video games have more variations. You have the hyper masculine tough guy like Duke Nukem and any other action game. You have the suave smart guy in like L.A. Noire, fat bald angry guy NPCs, feminine wimpy main males in JRPGs, and even homosexual guys like in Shadow Hearts. Theres a huge variation from main characters to NPCs. There are a lot more that I haven't said but then we get to women in video games. They all have one thing in common. They are always attractive first, then you add whatever else next. This holds true in all forms of media too. Watch a movie, watch the TV, look at a magazine. Anything. Just like how minorities aren't properly portrayed, women aren't properly portrayed either. You don't see many minorities in video games. Whens the last time you saw an Asian in a video game outside an Asian themed game that wasn't a martial artist or old wise man? What about a Hispanic that wasn't a gang banger? Like women, when is the last time you saw a non attractive women in a video game outside of background characters?
Women are used for sex appeal for the gamer. You see chain mail bikinis on women who somehow magically have more defense than a man wearing a full plate armor. Yet somehow those swords that stab her exposed flesh are magically deflected. Impractical? Fuck that show more cleavage. Zoom in on that ass. Put on some bondage gear. I already said a lot about this before. There is no need to go into more detail. Sure you get the occasional shirtless male with ripped abs but those are uncommon because they don't want the player base to start feeling insecure about their sexuality.
Men are usually the main characters and women are usually forced into the supportive role in games. Sometimes women are the main characters and men are the support but a lot of developers say they don't like to make games with a female main character because their fans complain about having to play a girl. But that is mostly because anything meant to appeal to both genders are male. A girl can be a tomboy an be socially accepted but as soon as a parent finds out their son is doing or watching anything girly they automatically assume he caught the gay and will put an end to it right away. Society says men have to be manly. And because of that, we have mostly male leads in video games. And since the lead is a male, the support roles are shoved onto females. Then you have the love interest role and the damsel in distress role.
A few games let you play as either gender. For example in Mass Effect you are able to choose a male or female Commander Shepard. People argue that the female Shepard is nothing more than a chick with a dick and shouldn't even be considered in any discussion about characters. Why? I thought feminism was all about equality. If both the male and female versions are doing exactly 100% the same thing minus the romance whats wrong with it really? But Mass Effect also has the worst portrayal of women in gaming. The Asari, an all female race of prostitutes and sluts. Then theres Jack a crazy psycho angry bitch you have to cure her broken life with your penis. Miranda who is the genetically engineered superhuman perfect sex doll who you cure her of her insecurities with your penis. And Tali the naive waif who you cure her of her shyness with your penis. Then Kelly your secretary who you can sexually harass and then molest with your penis. Basically everything else was badly done in the game.
Then there are the "great female characters" like Alyx Vance from Half Life 2 that men claim to be the best. However almost all women agree she is terrible. I have never played that game so I cannot comment but most agree that shes completely dependent on the main character and she just magically falls in love with him without any development. She also becomes a damsel in distress. Just because its a supportive character doesn't mean that she is automatically bad. Just because she plays the role of a damsel in distress doesn't mean shes bad. They don't need to be non feminine to be a good character either. What they need is character depth.
As long as they don't go into this.
Lets take a look at Aveline from Dragon Age 2. Yes I know the game is a piece of shit but she isn't. She is probably one of the most likable female characters in video games. She is well developed, she is a strong female character. She has her own life, her husband died early in the game but that doesn't stop her. She does what she feels is right and isn't afraid to voice her opinions and do what she sets out to do. Eventually she becomes the captain of the guard. She watches over you like a guardian would but at the same time she isn't without flaw. She has a crush on a subordinate but doesn't have the courage to do it even though she is strong when it comes to anything but love. It becomes downright embarrassing yet a little cute at the same time. Eventually she overcomes that hurdle and captures her love. I also like to point out she cannot be romanced by the main character. People go "oh shes ugly she looks manly she doesn't show any cleavage blah blah blah." So what? Do they have to be attractive to be female? Because of that she is overlooked a lot.
Just because it is a damsel in distress or even a supportive character, it doesn't mean they should be devoid of any personality or development. A lot of JRPG's do this. You get weak girls as casters and the males are hotheaded fighters. Most characters are one dimensional and are basically defined by one particular trait. Persona 4 I thought did a good job on the main characters. Yes the game was terrible like Dragon Age 2 but the main characters grow, they have their own lives they do their own shit. They have their own goals and own opinions. Which I thought was quite progressive for a JRPG. But outside the main characters its just horrible.
Games like Skyrim have both men and women in all roles. Gender does not stop you from doing anything. There are Jarls that are women. They can lead, they don't whine in their keeps waiting for a man to do their job. Despite what feminist may or may not agree, you don't have to be ugly, you don't have to be doing a usually male dominated role, and you don't have to be devoid of any sexual attraction to the main character to be a strong female character. One example is Fall-From-Grace from Planescape Torment. She's a succubus, and right away alarm bells go off your head. But she isn't.as bad as you would think. She's a chaste succubus who owns a brothel for intellectual lust over physical lust. She has a dairy that she always holds which you cannot read or get rid of.
There are motherly female characters to female characters who relies on the male lead. That is fine. She can be a prostitute, a mother, a warrior, an independent woman anything you want and still be a strong character. It's not that she has to fulfill these roles to be a good character, it's that she is a good character who doesn't sacrifice these roles in order to appear interesting. It bolsters her character, not defines it. Roles don't make a difference in character. Hell Bayonetta is like the epitome of everything wrong in a video character and she's a strong character. Sure I find her annoying as shit and over the top but I won't deny that she is a strong character.
So why all the fuss about strong female characters in video games? There are tons of weak male characters right? Yes but there are also a ton of strong male characters. Strong female characters are a rare breed and when people see it they notice it. And when its lacking people don't bat an eyelash.
Men in video games have more variations. You have the hyper masculine tough guy like Duke Nukem and any other action game. You have the suave smart guy in like L.A. Noire, fat bald angry guy NPCs, feminine wimpy main males in JRPGs, and even homosexual guys like in Shadow Hearts. Theres a huge variation from main characters to NPCs. There are a lot more that I haven't said but then we get to women in video games. They all have one thing in common. They are always attractive first, then you add whatever else next. This holds true in all forms of media too. Watch a movie, watch the TV, look at a magazine. Anything. Just like how minorities aren't properly portrayed, women aren't properly portrayed either. You don't see many minorities in video games. Whens the last time you saw an Asian in a video game outside an Asian themed game that wasn't a martial artist or old wise man? What about a Hispanic that wasn't a gang banger? Like women, when is the last time you saw a non attractive women in a video game outside of background characters?
Women are used for sex appeal for the gamer. You see chain mail bikinis on women who somehow magically have more defense than a man wearing a full plate armor. Yet somehow those swords that stab her exposed flesh are magically deflected. Impractical? Fuck that show more cleavage. Zoom in on that ass. Put on some bondage gear. I already said a lot about this before. There is no need to go into more detail. Sure you get the occasional shirtless male with ripped abs but those are uncommon because they don't want the player base to start feeling insecure about their sexuality.
Men are usually the main characters and women are usually forced into the supportive role in games. Sometimes women are the main characters and men are the support but a lot of developers say they don't like to make games with a female main character because their fans complain about having to play a girl. But that is mostly because anything meant to appeal to both genders are male. A girl can be a tomboy an be socially accepted but as soon as a parent finds out their son is doing or watching anything girly they automatically assume he caught the gay and will put an end to it right away. Society says men have to be manly. And because of that, we have mostly male leads in video games. And since the lead is a male, the support roles are shoved onto females. Then you have the love interest role and the damsel in distress role.
A few games let you play as either gender. For example in Mass Effect you are able to choose a male or female Commander Shepard. People argue that the female Shepard is nothing more than a chick with a dick and shouldn't even be considered in any discussion about characters. Why? I thought feminism was all about equality. If both the male and female versions are doing exactly 100% the same thing minus the romance whats wrong with it really? But Mass Effect also has the worst portrayal of women in gaming. The Asari, an all female race of prostitutes and sluts. Then theres Jack a crazy psycho angry bitch you have to cure her broken life with your penis. Miranda who is the genetically engineered superhuman perfect sex doll who you cure her of her insecurities with your penis. And Tali the naive waif who you cure her of her shyness with your penis. Then Kelly your secretary who you can sexually harass and then molest with your penis. Basically everything else was badly done in the game.
Then there are the "great female characters" like Alyx Vance from Half Life 2 that men claim to be the best. However almost all women agree she is terrible. I have never played that game so I cannot comment but most agree that shes completely dependent on the main character and she just magically falls in love with him without any development. She also becomes a damsel in distress. Just because its a supportive character doesn't mean that she is automatically bad. Just because she plays the role of a damsel in distress doesn't mean shes bad. They don't need to be non feminine to be a good character either. What they need is character depth.
As long as they don't go into this.
Lets take a look at Aveline from Dragon Age 2. Yes I know the game is a piece of shit but she isn't. She is probably one of the most likable female characters in video games. She is well developed, she is a strong female character. She has her own life, her husband died early in the game but that doesn't stop her. She does what she feels is right and isn't afraid to voice her opinions and do what she sets out to do. Eventually she becomes the captain of the guard. She watches over you like a guardian would but at the same time she isn't without flaw. She has a crush on a subordinate but doesn't have the courage to do it even though she is strong when it comes to anything but love. It becomes downright embarrassing yet a little cute at the same time. Eventually she overcomes that hurdle and captures her love. I also like to point out she cannot be romanced by the main character. People go "oh shes ugly she looks manly she doesn't show any cleavage blah blah blah." So what? Do they have to be attractive to be female? Because of that she is overlooked a lot.
Just because it is a damsel in distress or even a supportive character, it doesn't mean they should be devoid of any personality or development. A lot of JRPG's do this. You get weak girls as casters and the males are hotheaded fighters. Most characters are one dimensional and are basically defined by one particular trait. Persona 4 I thought did a good job on the main characters. Yes the game was terrible like Dragon Age 2 but the main characters grow, they have their own lives they do their own shit. They have their own goals and own opinions. Which I thought was quite progressive for a JRPG. But outside the main characters its just horrible.
Games like Skyrim have both men and women in all roles. Gender does not stop you from doing anything. There are Jarls that are women. They can lead, they don't whine in their keeps waiting for a man to do their job. Despite what feminist may or may not agree, you don't have to be ugly, you don't have to be doing a usually male dominated role, and you don't have to be devoid of any sexual attraction to the main character to be a strong female character. One example is Fall-From-Grace from Planescape Torment. She's a succubus, and right away alarm bells go off your head. But she isn't.as bad as you would think. She's a chaste succubus who owns a brothel for intellectual lust over physical lust. She has a dairy that she always holds which you cannot read or get rid of.
There are motherly female characters to female characters who relies on the male lead. That is fine. She can be a prostitute, a mother, a warrior, an independent woman anything you want and still be a strong character. It's not that she has to fulfill these roles to be a good character, it's that she is a good character who doesn't sacrifice these roles in order to appear interesting. It bolsters her character, not defines it. Roles don't make a difference in character. Hell Bayonetta is like the epitome of everything wrong in a video character and she's a strong character. Sure I find her annoying as shit and over the top but I won't deny that she is a strong character.
So why all the fuss about strong female characters in video games? There are tons of weak male characters right? Yes but there are also a ton of strong male characters. Strong female characters are a rare breed and when people see it they notice it. And when its lacking people don't bat an eyelash.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Ubisoft - PC pirating = no more releasing PC games
Ubisoft recently announced they weren't porting games onto the PC because of piracy. They claim that 90% of the players are playing pirated copies of their games which is ironic because when they implemented the always online DRM they claimed that it was working and helped their sales and that was the reason they kept their DRM. Who are Ubisoft anyways? They're a publisher that is known for their hatred for PC gamers and their use of draconian DRMs in their games. DRMs that break people's cd/dvd drives and other stupid shit making paying customers suffer. Why? All because of their irrational fear of pirates.
PC games must be completely horrible and a dying industry right? Everyone should stick to consoles! Nope. In fact PC games seems to be higher than ever right now. Especially with the release of games like Battlefield 3 and Skyrim. You don't see them whining that their games are being pirated. Why? Because they're still making money even after they got pirated. The problem isn't piracy itself, its if they can still make money. Its about turning pirates into potential buyers. Have you ever heard stories of pirates pirating a game then finding out that game is the best shit they ever played and decided to buy a real copy? Perhaps not now but later in the future for their future games? Yes you have because its not as uncommon as developers like to think.
To quote Gabe Newall, the co-founder of Valve and Steam:
"In general, we think there is a fundamental misconception about piracy. Piracy is almost always a service problem and not a pricing problem. For example, if a pirate offers a product anywhere in the world, 24 x 7, purchasable from the convenience of your personal computer, and the legal provider says the product is region-locked, will come to your country 3 months after the US release, and can only be purchased at a brick and mortar store, then the pirate's service is more valuable. Most DRM solutions diminish the value of the product by either directly restricting a customers use or by creating uncertainty.
Our goal is to create greater service value than pirates, and this has been successful enough for us that piracy is basically a non-issue for our company. For example, prior to entering the Russian market, we were told that Russia was a waste of time because everyone would pirate our products. Russia is now about to become our largest market in Europe."
Full article can be found here.
That sounds familiar. Didn't my last post on piracy mention something like that? Oh yeah! CD Projeckt Red and Witcher 2. Guess what? Witcher 2 is the most pirated game in history because they don't have DRM and yet they managed to sell over a million copies. How? I thought no DRM means no profit because everyone would pirate it! Not everyone is a cheap ass. People want to support you guys but when you make it hard for them they don't. Your DRM encourages pirating. The problem isn't to stop people from playing your game for free, the goal is to make money in the end isn't it? Would crazy ass DRM really help?
Look at GoG, a niche digital distribution company like Steam except for one distinction. THERE ARE NO DRM FOR ANY OF THEIR GAMES. Re-read that a couple of times. Read it again. Done yet? Ok one more time. THERE ARE NO DRM FOR ANY OF THEIR GAMES. Now you're probably going HOLY SHIT NO DRM THEY MUST HAVE FUCKED UP THE ENTIRE GAME INDUSTRY THEN PEOPLE WOULD BUY A COPY AND PUT IT UP ON TORRENTS FOR EVERYONE. Yes they do, but guess what? Its successful. They sell old games for cheap without DRM but now more and more developers want to put their newer games up there for sale as well and they had to change their policy of selling old games. Games like the Witcher 2 were on there and was the first to get pirated but it didn't hurt their sales. Infact CD Projekt Red said they were swimming in money and is able to take more risks on new games.
How were they a success? They didn't have DRM they have the highest piracy rate ever in history yet they're making money. How do they do it? They are very dedicated to their fans. They take what they say to heart and change things based on popular opinion. They said DRM was lowering frame rates? Fuck it take it out. Shit was unbalanced and make the game less challenging? Fuck change it. There was not enough content? Fuck it more free DLCs.
According to GoG.
"If you make the whole gaming experience more complicated and more frustrating for people who buy the game; if it's easier to play a game that is pirated because they removed all the technical restraints, then I think there is a big issue on the plate now. It should be easier to play a game that you bought legally than play a game that you pirated."
You hear that Ubisoft? Maybe your game sucks thats why its failing. No other company seems to be having a problem. The biggest mistake that developers are making are that they refuse to let anyone play their game for free. Why do they get to play it for free for the time and money we spent in making this? Thats why there are no demos because they don't like to give shit out for free. Instead of trying to find a way for people to not play your game, why don't you find a way for people to pay for your game instead? You know how many games are now Free-to-Play these days? That concept single handedly killed the majority of piracy in Asian countries where piracy rates were skyrocketing.
Because people are able to play a game they can decide if they want to pay for the full game or for other content. Its something that works and is proven to work. PC gaming right now is shifting and Ubisoft is one of those that refuse to change. It will be one of those that will eventually collapse and fall because of their stubborness and they won't be missed. Another company will rise and take their place. The PC game industry is growing at an alarming rate afterall. Its at an all time high right now. Some companies just can't see it.
http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/10/07/opinion-ubisoft-piracy-and-the-death-of-reason/
"In fact, the decline of sales even calls into question the decline in piracy rates."
Your games are so bad even pirates don't want to touch it.
PC games must be completely horrible and a dying industry right? Everyone should stick to consoles! Nope. In fact PC games seems to be higher than ever right now. Especially with the release of games like Battlefield 3 and Skyrim. You don't see them whining that their games are being pirated. Why? Because they're still making money even after they got pirated. The problem isn't piracy itself, its if they can still make money. Its about turning pirates into potential buyers. Have you ever heard stories of pirates pirating a game then finding out that game is the best shit they ever played and decided to buy a real copy? Perhaps not now but later in the future for their future games? Yes you have because its not as uncommon as developers like to think.
To quote Gabe Newall, the co-founder of Valve and Steam:
"In general, we think there is a fundamental misconception about piracy. Piracy is almost always a service problem and not a pricing problem. For example, if a pirate offers a product anywhere in the world, 24 x 7, purchasable from the convenience of your personal computer, and the legal provider says the product is region-locked, will come to your country 3 months after the US release, and can only be purchased at a brick and mortar store, then the pirate's service is more valuable. Most DRM solutions diminish the value of the product by either directly restricting a customers use or by creating uncertainty.
Our goal is to create greater service value than pirates, and this has been successful enough for us that piracy is basically a non-issue for our company. For example, prior to entering the Russian market, we were told that Russia was a waste of time because everyone would pirate our products. Russia is now about to become our largest market in Europe."
Full article can be found here.
That sounds familiar. Didn't my last post on piracy mention something like that? Oh yeah! CD Projeckt Red and Witcher 2. Guess what? Witcher 2 is the most pirated game in history because they don't have DRM and yet they managed to sell over a million copies. How? I thought no DRM means no profit because everyone would pirate it! Not everyone is a cheap ass. People want to support you guys but when you make it hard for them they don't. Your DRM encourages pirating. The problem isn't to stop people from playing your game for free, the goal is to make money in the end isn't it? Would crazy ass DRM really help?
Look at GoG, a niche digital distribution company like Steam except for one distinction. THERE ARE NO DRM FOR ANY OF THEIR GAMES. Re-read that a couple of times. Read it again. Done yet? Ok one more time. THERE ARE NO DRM FOR ANY OF THEIR GAMES. Now you're probably going HOLY SHIT NO DRM THEY MUST HAVE FUCKED UP THE ENTIRE GAME INDUSTRY THEN PEOPLE WOULD BUY A COPY AND PUT IT UP ON TORRENTS FOR EVERYONE. Yes they do, but guess what? Its successful. They sell old games for cheap without DRM but now more and more developers want to put their newer games up there for sale as well and they had to change their policy of selling old games. Games like the Witcher 2 were on there and was the first to get pirated but it didn't hurt their sales. Infact CD Projekt Red said they were swimming in money and is able to take more risks on new games.
How were they a success? They didn't have DRM they have the highest piracy rate ever in history yet they're making money. How do they do it? They are very dedicated to their fans. They take what they say to heart and change things based on popular opinion. They said DRM was lowering frame rates? Fuck it take it out. Shit was unbalanced and make the game less challenging? Fuck change it. There was not enough content? Fuck it more free DLCs.
According to GoG.
"If you make the whole gaming experience more complicated and more frustrating for people who buy the game; if it's easier to play a game that is pirated because they removed all the technical restraints, then I think there is a big issue on the plate now. It should be easier to play a game that you bought legally than play a game that you pirated."
You hear that Ubisoft? Maybe your game sucks thats why its failing. No other company seems to be having a problem. The biggest mistake that developers are making are that they refuse to let anyone play their game for free. Why do they get to play it for free for the time and money we spent in making this? Thats why there are no demos because they don't like to give shit out for free. Instead of trying to find a way for people to not play your game, why don't you find a way for people to pay for your game instead? You know how many games are now Free-to-Play these days? That concept single handedly killed the majority of piracy in Asian countries where piracy rates were skyrocketing.
Because people are able to play a game they can decide if they want to pay for the full game or for other content. Its something that works and is proven to work. PC gaming right now is shifting and Ubisoft is one of those that refuse to change. It will be one of those that will eventually collapse and fall because of their stubborness and they won't be missed. Another company will rise and take their place. The PC game industry is growing at an alarming rate afterall. Its at an all time high right now. Some companies just can't see it.
http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/10/07/opinion-ubisoft-piracy-and-the-death-of-reason/
"In fact, the decline of sales even calls into question the decline in piracy rates."
Your games are so bad even pirates don't want to touch it.
Bloodline Champions - How to ruin a perfectly balanced game with greed
I played this game when it was in beta. I don't know how or why I got an invite but I found one in my email one day and I was like lets give it a shot. They called themselves an Arena game where everything is skill based with no levels or luck involved. The game wasn't bad. There was 16 champions for you to pick. There are four champions for each role which are Healer, Tank, Melee, Ranged. Healers don't deal a lot of damage and they can heal. Tank don't do a lot but they can take a lot of punishment as well as have a lot of disables at their disposal. Melee deals a lot of damage but they have to get close to deal it. Ranged have paper thin defense but can deal the damage melee does from a distance. Some champions are more offensive some are more mobile they are all different and they are very fun.
Its an Arena type Moba. In other words, imagine dota without the lanes the farming the towers the shopping. Strip it down to its bare bones and put champions inside an arena with 3v3 to 5v5 fights. There are no levels, there are no RNG. Everything is skill shot based, in other words everything must be aimed. You can miss a heal, you can miss a melee swing, and you can even block a player from reaching your ally by standing in front of them. Its fun going into a game and immediately starting the action rather than farming for 30 minutes like other Mobas. You just jump right in and fight to the death. Rounds are short. If the rounds get dragged on too long sudden death starts and the map gets smaller and smaller and everyone standing outside the shrinking map instantly dies. The game was balanced, the game was fun. Then beta ended and I stopped playing the game.
An year later I decide to check out where the game has gone. What the fuck happened I have to ask. How do you ruin a game like this? When the game came out it was a 1 champion per role rotation per week. Which was pretty dumb because everyone plays the same shit every game. You can unlock champions with real money or the in game currency. The in game currency can also be used to buy skins, titles, avatars, and even gender swapped champions. After I came back I noticed that all those are changed to real cash only. The only thing you can buy with in game currency is the champions themselves. Then they added a new system where you can buy and unlock permanent stat boosts. Wait but I thought the game was all skill based and not about RNG and levels and other shit? Yeah thats what they claimed but after realizing they don't earn enough money from shitty skins they adapted to pay to win.
When I jumped into the game I found that people were going around 2 shotting me because I don't have any of the stats. Thats bullshit. And looking around I found they completely killed any reason to make custom games. Using the automatic matchmaker gives you bonus in game currency for every game you play. But this automatic matchmaker is bad at balancing anything. You can have a couple brand new rank 1 players match up against a whole team of veteran rank 15 players who played for an year. You will get demolished. Custom games let you balance the team yourselves so people who are new to the game can set up games to play only newbies. However there is no incentive to make custom games and I see 0 games in there when I check. Which is ironic because back in beta no one used the automatic matchmaker because it was slow as shit and every game was custom.
Then I did some research, looked around, listen to what people say about the game and I realized the game is dying. Not just me but everyone knew the game was dying. New players jump into the game and get slaughtered by veterans. Its a pay to win game so theres basically no way for them to learn anything. Its still 1 champion per role every week so they can never try to see what they like. Rotation systems are retarded. Why milk money out of them buying champions or playing a billion games to unlock a champion? It does nothing but piss off new players and make them want to play the game less. Theres no custom games you don't know who is a noob and where to learn and practice. Basically its a noobie unfriendly game. Its worse than Dota where if you jump into a game and turned out to be a noobie everyone will flame you and banlist you with an illegal wc3 program locking you out from any dota game hosted with that program. Somehow Bloodline Champions went from a decent well balanced game where you can join a game and finish in a couple of minutes into a boring noobie unfriendly unbalanced piece of shit. All in the name of making more money.
The best part is that there were more people playing in the closed beta than the free to play release of the game after 1 year. Maybe thats not true but it definitely feels like there are less people playing. Perhaps the community was more vocal because there were less of us. Perhaps without custom games you can't really judge how many games are being hosted and how many people are playing. The UI is bad as ever outside of the game. The lobby is a terrible mash of garbage on your screen. You would think it would be the first thing they fix after beta. Its the first thing new players see and if they can't even navigate it then what are the chances they'll keep playing after joining automatic matchmaking game and getting their shit fucked up the ass? First impressions are lasting impressions. They also have the worst friend/chat/party system with horrible chatrooms that open up to nowhere when you are in a party and having random people sitting in a lobby while they are in a game and party systems where you are not even sure you're in a party or not. Its a guessing game. During beta it was acceptable because we gave feedback on its shittyness. Guess it wasn't enough to get them to change.
Way to go Funcom. Lets milk as much money as possible and alienate new players. Thats going to help make more money because who needs new players right!? The existing players will keep playing and paying forever for new shit right? Thats why the game is successful right? Its alright Funcom, we know you're greedy. Just keep staying delusional and do nothing about this game.
Its an Arena type Moba. In other words, imagine dota without the lanes the farming the towers the shopping. Strip it down to its bare bones and put champions inside an arena with 3v3 to 5v5 fights. There are no levels, there are no RNG. Everything is skill shot based, in other words everything must be aimed. You can miss a heal, you can miss a melee swing, and you can even block a player from reaching your ally by standing in front of them. Its fun going into a game and immediately starting the action rather than farming for 30 minutes like other Mobas. You just jump right in and fight to the death. Rounds are short. If the rounds get dragged on too long sudden death starts and the map gets smaller and smaller and everyone standing outside the shrinking map instantly dies. The game was balanced, the game was fun. Then beta ended and I stopped playing the game.
An year later I decide to check out where the game has gone. What the fuck happened I have to ask. How do you ruin a game like this? When the game came out it was a 1 champion per role rotation per week. Which was pretty dumb because everyone plays the same shit every game. You can unlock champions with real money or the in game currency. The in game currency can also be used to buy skins, titles, avatars, and even gender swapped champions. After I came back I noticed that all those are changed to real cash only. The only thing you can buy with in game currency is the champions themselves. Then they added a new system where you can buy and unlock permanent stat boosts. Wait but I thought the game was all skill based and not about RNG and levels and other shit? Yeah thats what they claimed but after realizing they don't earn enough money from shitty skins they adapted to pay to win.
When I jumped into the game I found that people were going around 2 shotting me because I don't have any of the stats. Thats bullshit. And looking around I found they completely killed any reason to make custom games. Using the automatic matchmaker gives you bonus in game currency for every game you play. But this automatic matchmaker is bad at balancing anything. You can have a couple brand new rank 1 players match up against a whole team of veteran rank 15 players who played for an year. You will get demolished. Custom games let you balance the team yourselves so people who are new to the game can set up games to play only newbies. However there is no incentive to make custom games and I see 0 games in there when I check. Which is ironic because back in beta no one used the automatic matchmaker because it was slow as shit and every game was custom.
Then I did some research, looked around, listen to what people say about the game and I realized the game is dying. Not just me but everyone knew the game was dying. New players jump into the game and get slaughtered by veterans. Its a pay to win game so theres basically no way for them to learn anything. Its still 1 champion per role every week so they can never try to see what they like. Rotation systems are retarded. Why milk money out of them buying champions or playing a billion games to unlock a champion? It does nothing but piss off new players and make them want to play the game less. Theres no custom games you don't know who is a noob and where to learn and practice. Basically its a noobie unfriendly game. Its worse than Dota where if you jump into a game and turned out to be a noobie everyone will flame you and banlist you with an illegal wc3 program locking you out from any dota game hosted with that program. Somehow Bloodline Champions went from a decent well balanced game where you can join a game and finish in a couple of minutes into a boring noobie unfriendly unbalanced piece of shit. All in the name of making more money.
The best part is that there were more people playing in the closed beta than the free to play release of the game after 1 year. Maybe thats not true but it definitely feels like there are less people playing. Perhaps the community was more vocal because there were less of us. Perhaps without custom games you can't really judge how many games are being hosted and how many people are playing. The UI is bad as ever outside of the game. The lobby is a terrible mash of garbage on your screen. You would think it would be the first thing they fix after beta. Its the first thing new players see and if they can't even navigate it then what are the chances they'll keep playing after joining automatic matchmaking game and getting their shit fucked up the ass? First impressions are lasting impressions. They also have the worst friend/chat/party system with horrible chatrooms that open up to nowhere when you are in a party and having random people sitting in a lobby while they are in a game and party systems where you are not even sure you're in a party or not. Its a guessing game. During beta it was acceptable because we gave feedback on its shittyness. Guess it wasn't enough to get them to change.
Way to go Funcom. Lets milk as much money as possible and alienate new players. Thats going to help make more money because who needs new players right!? The existing players will keep playing and paying forever for new shit right? Thats why the game is successful right? Its alright Funcom, we know you're greedy. Just keep staying delusional and do nothing about this game.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Portal 2 - I like it when you hurt me
I have to say this game isn't bad. I liked it. While I enjoyed it, there was something missing. Portal is a side project for Half-Life. It was popular enough to get its own sequel. I always wondered why Portal was this popular? Most people say its the portal gun with its unique and fun puzzles while others say GLaDOS with her black humor and sarcasm that made the game. I found the first one ok. It didn't stand out that much while I thought GLaDOS was amazingly well done she wasn't that memorable because of how short the game was. When Portal 2 was announced I was skeptical. Though I never played the first of the series when I heard about it, I knew what the game was about. How could they possibly expand on the game?
When I first started Portal 2, I was surprised by another character, Wheatly. He's entertaining enough but he's no GLaDOS. Have no fear though, after awhile you meet up with your nemesis GLaDOS and start doing the puzzles again. I have to say I was disappointed. I'm glad people kept telling me to continue playing or I would've just stopped after the first few stages. It starts off slow, very slow. The puzzles are stupidly easy and doesn't give any sort of challenge at all. I suppose it was because I played Portal 1 about a week before Portal 2 came out. I found puzzles to be more challenging in the first game than in the sequel. Like someone said, once you add more elements to the game it becomes easier because there is only one specific easy to see way to get past. While I like puzzle games, the puzzles in Portal 2 didn't entertain me that much.
The biggest reason I liked the game was the quirkyness of it all. You have a psychopathic AI(I don't think AI's have empathy so it would probably apply to all AI) out to kill you who wants to test you in the name of science all while spouting off insults and sarcastic remarks. I love GLaDOS, she may be one of my favorite video game characters. I guess I have a thing for abuse or people trying to kill you but say what you want GLaDOS is as likable as she is entertaining. There has been some debate about her amongst feminists but I won't get into that but I'll leave a quote here.
He added that Chell and GLaDOS serve as opposing sides of femininity; where Chell is "dutiful and does every task assigned of her", GLaDOS is "aggressive and seemingly dangerous to the order of a male-dominated society". He also described Chell as a "domestic icon" while he described GLaDOS as a "progressive, intelligent working woman" and that by killing her, "Chell can be seen as the dutiful “safe” woman conquering the “dangerous” feminist"
Its funny though, the more abusive she becomes the more people like her. Or that goes for me at least.
Halfway though the game you find out more about the real story. Like the first one it starts after the tests "end." I liked these parts way more than the standard tests. I felt like the standard tests were "filler content" while these free puzzles to be more entertaining. The constant fear of the unknown and/or death was what the puzzle rooms were severely lacking. You start finding about how Aperature Science came to be and more backstory to GLaDOS. She becomes more and more uh, human? While at the same time you are introduced to two new characters, Cave Johnson and Caroline.
But as quickly as it started, it ended. The game itself is short and the free puzzle sections were even shorter. The atmosphere and ambience of the place itself is amazingly well done. It actually feels like its in terrible shape with broken rails and overgrowth everywhere. But the puzzle rooms are all perfectly constructed. I suppose its because GLaDOS puts testing people in puzzle rooms above the welfare of the laboratory. I like the ability to explore and wander around there but to annoy you more you have to do more puzzle rooms again after you get back to Wheatly after the free puzzles.
Overall its fun but I felt it lacked a lot of meat on the bones. Its a good game I wouldn't argue against that but if there were just a bit more content outside the puzzle rooms I would be more content. I don't know why it has this much praise. Maybe it was because everyone telling me its the best thing since sliced bread that I would be a little disappointed after playing it. Too much hype can do this to a game I suppose.
When I first started Portal 2, I was surprised by another character, Wheatly. He's entertaining enough but he's no GLaDOS. Have no fear though, after awhile you meet up with your nemesis GLaDOS and start doing the puzzles again. I have to say I was disappointed. I'm glad people kept telling me to continue playing or I would've just stopped after the first few stages. It starts off slow, very slow. The puzzles are stupidly easy and doesn't give any sort of challenge at all. I suppose it was because I played Portal 1 about a week before Portal 2 came out. I found puzzles to be more challenging in the first game than in the sequel. Like someone said, once you add more elements to the game it becomes easier because there is only one specific easy to see way to get past. While I like puzzle games, the puzzles in Portal 2 didn't entertain me that much.
The biggest reason I liked the game was the quirkyness of it all. You have a psychopathic AI(I don't think AI's have empathy so it would probably apply to all AI) out to kill you who wants to test you in the name of science all while spouting off insults and sarcastic remarks. I love GLaDOS, she may be one of my favorite video game characters. I guess I have a thing for abuse or people trying to kill you but say what you want GLaDOS is as likable as she is entertaining. There has been some debate about her amongst feminists but I won't get into that but I'll leave a quote here.
He added that Chell and GLaDOS serve as opposing sides of femininity; where Chell is "dutiful and does every task assigned of her", GLaDOS is "aggressive and seemingly dangerous to the order of a male-dominated society". He also described Chell as a "domestic icon" while he described GLaDOS as a "progressive, intelligent working woman" and that by killing her, "Chell can be seen as the dutiful “safe” woman conquering the “dangerous” feminist"
Its funny though, the more abusive she becomes the more people like her. Or that goes for me at least.
Halfway though the game you find out more about the real story. Like the first one it starts after the tests "end." I liked these parts way more than the standard tests. I felt like the standard tests were "filler content" while these free puzzles to be more entertaining. The constant fear of the unknown and/or death was what the puzzle rooms were severely lacking. You start finding about how Aperature Science came to be and more backstory to GLaDOS. She becomes more and more uh, human? While at the same time you are introduced to two new characters, Cave Johnson and Caroline.
But as quickly as it started, it ended. The game itself is short and the free puzzle sections were even shorter. The atmosphere and ambience of the place itself is amazingly well done. It actually feels like its in terrible shape with broken rails and overgrowth everywhere. But the puzzle rooms are all perfectly constructed. I suppose its because GLaDOS puts testing people in puzzle rooms above the welfare of the laboratory. I like the ability to explore and wander around there but to annoy you more you have to do more puzzle rooms again after you get back to Wheatly after the free puzzles.
Overall its fun but I felt it lacked a lot of meat on the bones. Its a good game I wouldn't argue against that but if there were just a bit more content outside the puzzle rooms I would be more content. I don't know why it has this much praise. Maybe it was because everyone telling me its the best thing since sliced bread that I would be a little disappointed after playing it. Too much hype can do this to a game I suppose.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Titan Quest - An endurance test on your sanity
First off I want to say my index finger is fucking sore right now and if I can avoid typing this shit out I would but the world must know of this piece of shit called Titan Quest. First of all its a Diablo clone. It would mean that you go around left clicking everything until it dies. While Diablo has a simple game play design, every single clone I met seem to fuck it up. Titan Quest over complicates things for the sake of over complicating.
There are huge trees you can pick skills from and mix and match with two trees into different classes. Each character can pick two trees and learn skills from either. But most of the skills are filler talents or garbage. So the best ones are the passives which effectively boils down to holding your left mouse button as its the most effective and the only way to get through the game. Your right mouse button will be hot keyed with the potion button for simplicity's sake. These skills do nothing to help you in your battle, so all you need is your mouse. Fuck the keyboard it does crap.
The difficulty is horrendous. I don't mind games with a challenge but if the challenge and difficulty of this game is how fast you can click your potion button then its a piece of shit. Whenever you go into town just go ahead and buy 300-600 potions. You will be hitting your right mouse button every 5 seconds or whatever amount of time the potions cools off. You'll burn through those potions in 20 minutes. Some monsters are so weak they do literally no damage then suddenly you meet a monster that can do 50% of your health in one shot and they come in packs. If you miss the potion by just one second you will die. Then you get asshole monsters that stun you for 1-2 seconds and if they stun you right when its time to hit your potion you die. This is Titan Quest.
The game started out fine, but as it progressed it just dragged on and on. What you seen in the first act is basically the same as the rest. The map is never randomized so every time you come back its exactly the same. This holds true for the multi player as well. Why no randomization? Too much work? The maps are long, tedious, and boring. Every map looks exactly the same. Some trees a large area with one exit and 2-3 minor caves you can explore for nothing. Quests are mindless and easily missed. As you reach further and further it gets more and more stupid. Once you reach act three you'll notice all the monsters moving at super speed and doing half your health in a single shot. Once you reach the final act the difficulty ramps up to asshole levels. Everything stuns you and you're standing there stun locked for five and up to ten seconds at a time. Its fucking frustrating to stand around doing nothing. If I wasn't on co-op I would be dead the second I got stunned.
Multi player in this game is shit as well. You go online with your single player character so if you want to be an asshole you can just hack all your gear. The problem with this game is the areas are so far apart theres basically no way to play with others unless they start at the same time as you. Going through one area for a minor part of the main quest would take thirty minutes to an hour. The way point portals are so far apart that if you're looking to group up for a quest its going to eat half your day. And the most grating part is chatting. HOW HARD IS IT TO DESIGN A FUCKING CHATBOX. To type you press T to bring up the chatbox. You type then press enter to send the message. When you hit enter the chatbox grays out so you can close it again by pressing T. If you want to talk more you press enter again. BUT if your trying to use skills or close it and it keeps trying to type out 1111111tttttttttttt11ttttt1t1t1t1t11t22ttt in your chatbox. Just to add salt to the wound you can't hold down backspace to clear it so you have to hit backspace 50x or just go fuck it and send it out because whose going to fucking break their fingers more.
The game started out fine, but its way too repetitive. As soon as you're done the four acts. You get to repeat the game in nightmare and hell mode. But they're called different names. Are you so fucking lazy to resort to redoing the game in another difficulty? And the game isn't difficult. I don't find clicking potion buttons over and over difficult. I find it tedious and stupid. Going through the game once is an ordeal already. The maps are too big, the way points are too far apart, the side quests are impossible to find, there are too many pointless monsters while traveling, and scenery are exactly the same. These things make the game longer than it should be. Only thing decent I can say about the game is the BGM is nicely done. But the BGM doesn't really appear that often only whenever the fuck it wants to. Theres are options to "decrease the rate it appears," "normal," and "increase the rate it appears." What the fuck? Why so ambiguous? Why can't we just have ON and OFF. Seems like the easiest options but whatever. Its not like you'll hear it over the grunting sounds of dying tigermen or mantises. Isn't the game about mythology? Why are the monster designs so bad. And why the difficulty inconsistencies on these monsters.
Of all the Diablo clones, this one is not the worst. But anything can be better than Torchlight so its not saying much. My fingers are still hurting and I'm done talking about this shit.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Dota-likes
Dota type games are referred to usually as MOBA or ARTS. MOBA stands for multiplayer online battle arena while ARTS stands for action real time strategy. Both means the same thing, Dota clones. No one is sure how it got so popular or why the worst self-entitled degenerates of society congregate to these types of games and ruin the community into a seething pile of rancid shit. But every game has these people you will say. No, the amount of assholes in these type of games are legendary.
Everyone thinks they're better than the others and every time something goes wrong its their fault. Why? Thats like playing basketball and when you miss a shot your team starts yelling at you for letting the other team get the ball. Then they go on and on for 50 fucking minutes about how the game was lost because you missed that ball and that you should drown in the fucking ocean for sucking so badly at a harmless game of basket ball and how he is going to quit and never play with you again because you are the worst type of scum for missing a fucking ball in the fucking basket. Does that even fucking make sense? Why do people act this way in Dota-likes?
Then there are the so called "trolls" who find it funny to ruin the game for your team. How about people who call out a role and then proceed to bitch and moan when he doesn't get it? Or thinks its funny to keep suiciding and calling out your locations in all chat? Lets go back to basketball again. Imagine a guy on your team keeps calling for you to pass the ball to him and you can't because he's being blocked to shit. He then gets mad and goes "what the fuck man if you're not going to pass me the ball I'm going to ruin the game," then proceeds to taking the ball from your team, checking your own team, and giving the ball to the other team and or throwing the ball into your own basket. Is that fun for either team? No? Yeah you'll get thrown off the court. Not here you don't. They just join another game and repeat it until they log off and come back the next day.
If you play Dota-likes this will happen. I don't know why its so concentrated in these games. Is it because its free? Is it because its a team game and you can't pick your own teams? Has it always been there for every game but you just can't see it? Why do people even play this? Its like the abusive boyfriend you keep crawling back to. He doesn't give a shit because he knows you'll keep coming back. You know he's an asshole but you just can't help yourself. Why are these games so popular?
I am never touching another F2P and Dota-like game again.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Muramasa: The Demon Blade Part 1 - Food porn and hot springs galore
Muramasa is a Vanillaware game. Its not bad, the combat is fun but like all Vanillaware games there are huge flaws. The first and biggest flaw is that there is basically no story. You start in the middle of nowhere where stuff has already happened and theres no conclusion at all. This game is similar to Odin Sphere but the combat is greatly improved. The story however is much weaker. There are two characters you can play as, Momohime or Kisuke, and it takes place in the feudal Japan era. It has so much potential but they blew it.
Like other Vanillaware games, the graphics are great. Since this one is on the Wii its much better than the PS2 titles. Character designs are decently done, some are a little stupid like Momohime is basically running around with no pants and the fox girl Kongiku on Momohime's path has breasts almost bursting out of her clothes. The background is nicely done but there is a minor flaw. Sometimes you can't tell what is in the background and what is in the foreground. Sometimes you're not really sure what you can step on and what you can't. For a platforming game this can be annoying. But the maps almost all use the same background for laziness so once you see it once you won't get that problem again.
Combat is amazingly fun. Its fluid and its fast paced. Its a side scrolling brawler with a variety of combos and special skills based on the sword you picked. There is a normal blade which is fast and the combos are usually fast mini hits. The long blade is slower but it does multiple mini hits in a single swing. The long blade has a bug however that I abused a bit. If you jump in the air and use a long sword combo you have this gravitational pull when you hit something that pulls them towards you even if the enemy is in the air behind you. When you do this they cannot perform any action and with a long blade you can chain about 4-5 combos in the air before you finally reach the ground. Doing so on enemies that can leap in the air can combo upwards to 200-300 hits and kill them before you reach the ground.
However fun the combat is the difficulty is incredibly easy. Most monsters you can just spam your A button and kill them all. Monster lairs and Bosses provide a bit of a challenge but they are not that difficult either. When you first start a game it it lets you pick between two difficulties, Muso for people who suck horribly at gaming, or Shura the normal mode for average players. Once you beat either story once on Shura mode Shigurui mode is enabled. HOWEVER! You must start a brand new game instead of starting on new game+ which is continuing your story with the second character. The game lets you play either character at either time. You can play them both at once or finish one first. It is entirely up to you. Note that both characters can use swords unlocked by either character so its beneficial to play both at once. You may not have the amount of souls needed though. This game also pulls the same bullshit as other Vanillaware games though. To get the second ending of either character you must first complete both character's first ending and equip a secret sword you get after getting both of the first endings then beating the respective final bosses. To get the true ending you must equip the secret sword after getting both secondary endings then beating the respective final bosses. A pain in the fucking ass.
The characters are entertaining and you really want to get to know them a bit better but it never really expands on it. Momohime's route you're a princess whose spirit was forced out of her own body by a criminal called Junkuro. Who is he? What is he trying to acomplish? Nothing really is explained. All you know is he knows the Obouro style sword fighting. To keep it for himself he killed his master and all the other disciples. He's a badass who takes no shit from no one and travels to hell and heaven to get a sword back. Along the way you hear Momohime whine at every possible stop about how evil he is being. You get a few sentences of what happened such as Momohime's family being killed and overthrown, some guy who appears for like 2 minutes and gets his ass kicked by Junkuro, random monk who tries so hard to punish Junkuro and then gets a epiphany at the end of the game and turns "good" and travels around the land with Momohime following him because of Junkuro's fucking sacrifice to save Momohime.
The story is short. I finished Momohime's route in a little over 6 hours. Thats pathetically short especially with me dicking around in monster lairs, hot springs, and engaging in food porn every chance I got. I also left the game on for long periods of time while I did other shit. Theres more hidden content after you beat both stories but still. Another thing in this game is the hot springs. How fucking common are hot springs in Japan? Every 10 maps you see a new hot spring and even after beating a boss you all get into the hot spring together. You see a barely naked Momohime walking around. She looks like shes 12 for fucks sake. Its a free heal and sometimes you get to talk to people. Then theres the food porn. You can go into restaurants and order food and it will be placed on the table in front of you. You have to click A repeatedly to eat the item. It eats it bite by bite and Momohime will keep commenting on how nice the food is, etc etc. Cooking isn't much different. Sometimes I wanna bake a bunch of potatoes for the boss and its taking fucking forever because you have to dig a hole place the potato in the hole and cover it with leaves then set it on fire then pull it out. FOR EACH INDIVIDUAL POTATO. There no auto cook, you have to keep hitting the A button. It was cool seeing it for the first time but seeing it time after time is tedious.
This is it for now.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Greed filled DLCs
What is a DLC? If you played anything in the past decade you would know. DLC stands for Downloadable Content. In other words content that is not included in the main game and you have to pay extra money to get. Doesn't sound too bad does it. Pay a little and you can play more of the game you love. WRONG. DLCs are nothing but an attempt to milk every last drop of money from a game. Whatever happened to paying 60 bucks and getting a full game? Nowadays you pay 60 bucks get half a game with 3 release day DLCs where you have to pay 15 bucks each for if you want all the stuff. Then release a new DLC every 3 months for 15 bucks each that has like 20 minutes of content. Fuck you.
My biggest gripe is how stupidly short and how overpriced these DLC are. DLCs are never worth their money. Never. Every company has adapted DLCs into their marketing strategy. Release a game but purposely leave out content. When the game is shipped include DLCs to preorders and those that didn't preorder because they want to wait for reviews to know if the game is a piece of shit or not have to pay 45 bucks for more DLCs! Why the fuck are there release day DLCs? Why is it not included into the game?
"Oh we wanted to include it but we wanted to ship the game out so the game went gold already and so we decided to charge you 15 bucks for each DLC instead of letting you download it for free! Enjoy dipshits."
I like CD Projekt Red's marketing strategy. No DRM because it hinders paying customers and free DLCs because charging their customers 15 bucks for no content is bullshit. They just recently released another patch that added a brand new mode, balances, and an arena system for The Witcher 2.
Lets take a look at a DLC that I tried. Dragon Age Origins for one. Return to Ostagar. You get a new area on your map. You walk over and you appear in the same Ostagar you were in at the start of the game. Wander around you see the dead king then kill an Ogre and you get the king's armor. Then you leave the area in about 5 minutes. That was the DLC. Was it worth 15 bucks? No. Was it worth 5 bucks? No. Was it worth 1 buck? No. Would it be worth it if it was free? No. This fucking shit isn't even worth the time and bandwith to download. You have got to be the greediest fucking shits to release something like that. There was no effort in it. Thats not the worst part. The worst part is there are a shitload of even more terrible DLCs out there.
To make things worse DLCs are tied to your account so if you were to buy a preowned game then you wouldn't get any of this shit. They want to counteract piracy and resales with DLCs as well as milk more money. This was the reason why so many companies have release day DLCs. Like 60 bucks isn't too much for a piece of shit game already why drive up the price even more. If they could charge 100 bucks for their game they would but for now they'll stick to their 60 bucks game with release day DLCs.
Release day DLCs are the most stupidest shit since the horse armor DLC for oblivion for like what 15 bucks? All it gave you was horse armor. HORSE FUCKING ARMOR. Stop buying low quality bullshit. If you do they'll get off their asses and put some work into them. Maybe then we would get something worth downloading.
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