Thursday, December 15, 2011

Muramasa: The Demon Blade Finale - Biggest waste of fucking time

This is a continuation of my previous part found here.

So you beat the game and you found the endings unacceptable. You want to know what the fuck happened and don't wanna end with those pitiful excuses for endings. There are four more endings. The true endings for either characters. And two alternate secret endings. For example in Momohime's ending Kongiku was punished for helping Junkuro and turned back into a normal fox and Junkuro died and sacrificed himself to save Momohime. Then Momohime wakes up with no memory and lives with an elderly couple until Oni's come and attack and she fucked them over with her Oboro style. She goes "what is this scary power" and goes around searching for the answer with Kongiku who is a normal fox. The end. WHAT THE FUCK. For Kisuke's ending you randomly meet Momohime out of nowhere and kill Junkuro's spirit and saves her. Then Torahime is like do me one last favor before I die and makes Kisuke Momohime's servant because Kisuke is madly in love with Torahime. Then Momohime goes "Lets go around and collect all the Muramasas!" The end.

You're thinking "Ok maybe the super secret super ending is better!" Nope! Its in fact worse. Worse than you can possibly imagine. First of all to get the ending you must first, beat the game with both characters. Then you must beat the White Monster Lairs which are only available after you beat the game with both characters. In here you fight series of challenges. You are rewarded with secret swords. Then you must equip two very specific swords and go fight the last boss with your two characters. Here you will find your true ending. Then after beating both you must get to maximum level wear the best sword in the game and fight again for the alternate ending. You must be going this is a lot of work. MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.

How would you like a game where you have to grind over and over again to reach the maximum level just so you can have a real ending. Because the regular endings go "this is not the end..." and tease you while giving you no fucking conclusion. To level you go fight challenge bosses. Theres one boss who is the easiest boss in the game but gives 12x the exp of every single boss in the game combined. So what you do is endlessly fight this guy until you level. Kill, save repeat. Kill, save repeat. I have to ask. Why do you need to level up to equip a sword? What is the point. If I got it just let me use it. The problem is, even after equipping it, it does nothing to help. Everything in the game scales to your level. A shitty ass boss does 7k damage a hit. What in the fuck is that? I thought the boss is level 35. How the fuck he do 95% of my health in a single hit when I'm max level.

Then you have fucking retarded pointless random encounters. I never pointed this out before but I'll point it out now because of how tedious it became when I realized how much running around there are. For example, Momohime's final dungeon will take at least five minutes to walk from beginning to the end without anything in your way. With random encounters this goes up to like an hour. Not exactly but it sure feels like it. Every four steps you take you fight enemies. I got a item from a challenge boss which says "greatly reduces random encounters." That item is a lie. Instead of fighting every four steps, you fight every six steps. Hardly any help. I did not notice any fucking difference with or without the item. You cannot run from combat either and while shit scales with your level you can't blow through them all instantly and move on. You're forced to fight and fight and fight. Why bother when you're max level? Nothing. You already wasted an hour grinding the boss so you can wear your fucking sword now you have to waste another hour walking to the last boss again.

So there I am pissed as fucking hell reach the final boss again make sure I have the final sword equipped, fight the guy. Notice he's scaled to fucking hell, beat his face in easily and then wait for the alternate ending. ONLY TO FIND OUT ITS A PIECE OF SHIT. Instead of Junkuro being killed by Fudoo-Mudoo, Buddha's bodyguard, you managed to kill him with your sword. Now you go back in time. You're Junkuro in human form and you see Momohime and her fiancée running from the castle that should have killed her. Instead of killing her and taking over her body like you did before. You let her go and walk away. Then you go into the future where its Momohime getting married with her fiancee and its hinted that Junkuro has taken over his body and is marrying you instead but since you went back in time Momohime never knew about Junkuro. Then the ending goes "It is said Momohime given birth three times and lived to be over 100. You have reached the end of The Pandemonium of the Oboro Sword."

WHAT IN THE FUCKING SHIT. I fucking did all that and this was what I got? WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY THINK THIS WOULD SATISFY ANYONE. First of all. Junkuro is like 60 years old and Momohime is 12. Fucking her finacee is like 35 years old. The worst part is that if I want to see Kisuke's alternate ending which would probably be just as fucking shitty, I would have to do all this again. But why would I? I would rather fucking play HoN, LoL, and DotA at the same time with 4 feeders on my team in each game while playing Persona 3 and 4 on the TVs while blasting Friday by Rebecca Black on repeat and having my dick sawed off by a chainsaw while cutting my stomach open with a knife. That is less painful that fucking playing this game again.

DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME.

EVER.

Save yourself from the years of nightmare and torture you get from playing this game.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you lie