The Binding of Issac - One big dead baby joke

You're probably asking why I'm bitching about an indie game. An indie game may have niche audiences but it doesn't mean it can't suck shit. The Binding of Issac is made by the same people who made Super Meat Boy. I have never played that game but I've heard praises of people who have played it. Having no idea what that is and no idea what this is I gave this a try. All I could say after all this was what the fuck. The story consists of you, Issac a 8 year old boy with a crazy religious mother. One day your mother hears the voice of God telling her to shelter you from the outside evils. You are then locked away naked in your room. Then she hears the voice of God telling her to kill you and you escape through the basement. That is the whole story. Inside the basement you meet a bunch of different creatures such as eyeless bleeding babies, babies with head filled with flies, headless babies, floating dead baby heads, zombie babies, maggots, giant vaginas, and more.

Edgy huh? I think the game focused too much on being edgy than to make the game better. The game isn't entirely bad. Its a rogue-like inspired Zeldaesque game. Basically you go around the dungeon shooting everything with tears and you find upgrades and you slowly mutate into some fucked up shit. The amount of blood puts Dragon Age to shame. Its grotesque but the replayability is there. The only problem is, why is this 5 bucks? Seems like this game is no different than those flash games you can play for free. A couple of years ago without steam and all these digital distribution sites it would be just another flash game forgotten somewhere. The game is made in flash and when the screen is filled with a bunch of shit (literally sometimes), it slows down and you start sliding around making the game difficult and impossible to play. Its more annoying than Odin Sphere's massive slowdown. The game is all about luck. Its like solitaire, you don't play to win instead you play for a chance to win.

When people wanted joystick support, what did these guys do? They make you google another program of course! There are more and more shit like if you leave the game on for long periods of time it automatically assumes you aren't playing and closes the game for you. The only reason they could get away with this kind of shit is because its an indie game. For 5 bucks you can get something better, something like Dungeons of Dredmor another rogue-like. Even Dungeon Defenders is cheap as shit and worth way more than this piece of shit. It has a few levels and the game doesn't last very long. The only reason replayability is high is the first few tries you'll end up dying a few minutes into the game. Its not bad becuase its hard, its bad because of how unoptimized it is and how its just a game where they shove as many dead babies and internet memes they can into it.