Velvet Assassin - I CAN'T OPEN DOORS!

I haven't finished this game. I don't intend to. What is Velvet Assassin exactly? Well, its a stealth game where you play as Violette Summers, a British spy in WWII. When you first start the game you see Violette lying on a hospital bed from a "mission gone wrong" and is stuck in some kind of coma. Then you start replaying missions based on her memories. It doesn't sound so bad right? Except the entire stealth system is flawed. Not a minor flaw, but huge flaws like how the enemies won't open the door and shoot you.

The first mission you start off by sneaking into a base. Pretty standard stuff. You get a purple glow when you are in the shadows meaning, no one can see you. But you step into the light or touch broken glass then people see you. You get a knife and a pistol with a silencer with 6 rounds. Once these rounds are gone you don't get any more. Shooting a guy in the head means he dies in a single shot anywhere else, nope. So this means you need good aim. Which is fairly easy and most of the enemies in this game stand around being retarded. So you're going around sneaking in the shadows and when they turn their back you sneak over and silent kill them with a knife.

Simple stuff. Then you get to parts and Violette will suddenly point out "I remember, I had to turn off the electricity here. This is an electric fence." Thanks... Like I can't tell with the high voltage signs plastered all over the walls. So you sneak over and break the power. Then OH SHIT THE ENEMY SAW ME WHAT DO I DO? Well if you get caught you have two options. Fight or Run. Running is the easiest. Once you hide in the shadows the enemy will walk over and look straight at you but you're glowing purple right? Yeah. So you pull out your gun, point that thing at his head and bang he's dead. Or if you're too lazy to do that you can hit MORPHINE MODE. What is morphine mode? Well the thing is Violette is struggling in her hospital bed and the nurse gives her a shot of morphine. Morphine must be found throughout the stage and it has a one time use. Using it the whole world slows down, kinda like F.E.A.R. You run around in your undergarments and the whole world is pink with fluffy flowers floating everywhere. And if you get close to an enemy you get a instant kill move. After killing someone. The morphine wears out and the other guy beside him will kill you.

The stages are pretty straightforward. Violette explains the situation at the start of every stage. Then you get thrown in and you finish it. Sneaking around you shoot a guy then the other guy comes over looks at the body goes "oh shit he's dead!" and walk back to his spot and smokes a cigarette to ease the pain of a dead comrade and then you stab him in the back. I also like to point out that after each stage your ammo and health magically replenishes itself. I understand if its like a whole different time and you get to restock but if its like a sub-stage you still get ammo. Then you keep going and you go into a room. Oh crap bad mistake! There's like four guys standing around. You take your gun you shoot one in the head and quickly run out the room. You then look through the keyhole and you see three guys walk up the door and starts yelling in German. Then they go "she went behind the door! I CAN'T OPEN DOORS!" and then they go back to the spots and you go in and shoot them all and continue forward.

Climbing up the bell tower you meet your first boss Colonel Schnitzel or whatever aka the butcher of Paris. You grab a bulletproof vest and a shotgun which happens to be lying there for no apparent reason. Then you climb up. You start hearing the guy start yelling "GET THE BITCH. TURN ON THE LIGHTS AND FORCE THE BITCH TO COME OUT" and then all the lights are open and you take out your shotgun and blast all the guards in the face. You then see Schnitzel and he pulls out a pistol. NOT SO FAST ASSHOLE! You point your shotgun in his face point blank and BAM RIGHT IN THE FACE BITCH. But wait! He's not dead! So he shoots at you and you go BAM RIGHT IN THE FACE BITCH AGAIN! Wait, he's not dead yet! THEN AGAIN YOU GO BAM RIGHT IN THE FACE BITCH. And finally he dies but not before a cutscene where you see Schnitzel lie on the ground with a bloody nose and Violette walks over points a shotgun to his head then the screen changes and you hear a BAM and all the birds fly away.

I don't know about you but I'd love to be able to take a shot or three in the face and walk away with just a bloody nose. Isn't this supposed to be realistic? Like you're actually stealthing around killing people? Not watching retarded enemies run around and blasting people in the face with shotguns which doesn't kill them. That was were I stopped. It sucks. That is all.