Fahrenheit - 9/11 was better than this shit

I didn't want to talk about this game because it was so bad but, since I just heard someone talk about how it was awesome I had to write this. First of all you probably never heard of this game, and that's a good thing. Its name was changed to Indigo Prophecy in the US because of the documentary called Fahrenheit 9/11. It is supposedly an action game, made by a french company about a series of murders in NY. And I use game loosely here because according to Quantic Dream, the creator of this monstrosity, it is actually an "interactive film." You're probably thinking what the hell is an interactive film? I want a game not a film. Well that's what I said as well.

You start off the game with the developer appearing in front of you and start bragging his face off about how great his game is and how everyone should make a solid gold statue of him to worship him for the rest of humanity. This guy starts talking and there is no way to just skip this. He goes on and on and then he tells you to do something. If you do it wrong you'll hear "No, no, no, try again" or something like that in his french accent. After about 20 minutes of that you'll finally begin playing the game. Oh wait no, you watch a movie. Then after the 6 hour opening you find yourself standing in a diner bathroom with blood over your hands holding a knife with a dead guy on the floor. All right! Action! Or... wait...

Well it looked promising at the beginning. It reminded me of Hitman, and that is a good thing. You have a load of options to do. You can just run out the building, clean up the mess drag the body away ditch the weapon, even clean up pay your bills and leave normally. There is also the split screen thing like in Hitman where when someone comes close you can see. Yeah a cop is making his way into the washroom to take a leak and you're fighting the clock. I hate to say, but this is the only part in the game where this happens. So enjoy the first 5 minutes of the game because that'll be the most fun you will get. After getting out of the diner and taking a cab home you switch to the point of view of someone else.

You get a black cop, Tyler, and his white cop partner, Carla, who has to walk around finding clues that you have or have not hidden as Lucas Kane. Also no matter what action you do, the story will still follow its linear line. There will be no difference in the end no matter what action you choose. You have to get all the clues before you can move on. Half the time though, the characters are talking to themselves, aka you. So you can know a little of what they are thinking and you can do stuff depending on what they are thinking. Tyler and Carla will always be together so you'll have to switch between them to get things done. For example, Tyler could be at the office and you need to call Carla, then you hit the switch button and have Carla pick up the phone from her house. Yes it is very annoying. Yes you have to do this everytime. No if you don't switch the guy won't hang up.

So you keep doing stupid things like this. You control Lucas and choose to screw him over or let him remain innocent a bit longer. In the end, he has to get caught so there is no difference. As the story progresses the storyline starts turning into a train wreck. Not that it wasn't a train wreck before but now its like they know there is a wreck so they send more trains in to see what happens. So you keep having visions of a weird little girl, kind of like F.E.A.R but without the "scary" aspect. Not that F.E.A.R is scary at all but this is about Fahrenheit so that's for another time. Then Lucas Kane starts seeing things like giant bugs appear everywhere and starts going ape shit. NOW YOU SEE ACTION RIGHT? No. You start playing Simon Says with the keyboard. If you don't know what simon says then here's a link for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVzZVYtt64I

That is literally what you do for all the action scenes in the game. It's long, its tedious, and its boring. Its also more corny and lame than the commercial.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYEHtFVLqzk

Yeah... I wish I youtubed it before I started playing it. Anyways the story goes on and it sorta pulls a Xenogears where the second half you don't get to play though it you just hear what goes on. Then you find out about the "oracle" who is a mayan oracle who controls you to kill people. The "indigo child" which is the little autistic girl who will speak and say something that will give the person the power to rule the world. The orange clan who is after the indigo child for over 2000 years. They know every thing in the world and what everyone is doing, kinda like big brother. Then theres the purple clan made up of A.I from the internet who is after the indigo child as well to gain world domination over humans. Then theres the invisibles who are homeless bums who are fighting against the other clans. Yeah homeless people... Theres like 5 of them... yeah....

Anyways the whole game is about mini games. And by mini games I mean annoying pointless shit that gives you high blood pressure. Watch a few scenes then you have a mini game such as Carla having claustrophobia and must go into the dark lonely basement to find tapes. She will have a panic attack and you must control her breathing by pressing left and right constantly or she'll go crazy and you game over. Its not over in like 2 minutes. No. It takes 15 minutes to finish that not counting the times you screw up and have to start over. After that you get a few scenes then you get another mini game! Now you're Tyler and you have to find a book in the library. Holy shit is the library huge. Theres four floors with like three sections and you can only take one book off the shelf at a time and give it to the dude and if its wrong he sends you back. Since I didn't give a shit about the stupid riddle which was impossible, I just ran around and found the book by accident. It was on the top floor in the corner by the way. So this just repeats endlessly until the second half of the game.

The second half reveals that Lucas Kane is the "chosen one" or whatever the shit it is. They pull a matrix and he turns into some super god. The Carla meets him and bangs him in the amount of time it takes to read this sentence. And you find out Lucas Kane is dead and he was revived by the AI to trick him into their side but he has the "Chroma" which was leftover by UFO's or some shit and he was able to fight back and the game ends he becomes a god and Carla is pregnant with his child. He just sits there on a rock going "I know all the answers to the universe. Carla is pregnant. I am going to kill myself for being in this piece of shit game."

He said that last sentence. Or at least in my mind he said that. Thats it. This is the shittiest game that is ever created. Do. Not. Play. This. Shit. Ever. If you want to play a less shitty game I'd start with Persona 3 and make your way down here. If you play this game you'll never want to game again in your life. It's that shitty.