Bastion - Fuck the Narrator

I don't know why this game is so popular. It was an indie game that no one had heard of that suddenly gained a ton of popularity. The developers seeing that it was getting a lot of attention started dumping into ads. Next thing you know everyone is talking about this game. All the game is, is a shitty action RPG with neither a lot of action nor RPG. You're some nameless kid walking around smacking the shit out of these ghost things minding their own business with the most boring weapons and combat.

Basically the game involves you wandering around on floating platforms on the sky. Most of the time they will drop down as you get near the edge of a platform. The art style isn't bad but the world seems tiny. I know its supposed to be small because the world exploded and all that's left of civilization are on thee floating platforms. If it takes like two steps to reach the end of a platform, its too small. You also get to fight with a melee weapon and a ranged weapon. You don't have many choices so you pick the one that is the least shitty to play with. None of the weapons feel fun to use. The last slot you can use is a skill. It could be a melee skill, a ranged skill, or even a skill that isn't tied to a weapon, like a summon. Combat is just brainless mashing and nothing really feels special about it. From the first minute into the game to the middle of the game, you're still smacking the same stuff with the same hammer in the same platforms in the same world with the same narrator being an asshole.

One thing everyone praised is the narrator's voice. Some claimed he is better than Morgan Freeman and everyone knows that just isn't true. He was so popular they even have a Dota2 announcer pack using his voice. What the hell? I wasn't a fan of the narrator nor his "humor." First of all, why the fuck was he being such a dickhead sending you around fighting then saying something along the lines of "Yeah I'm just using the kid, so what." I haven't finished the game but I don't know what the big deal with the narrator. Everyone shitting in their panties about his voice and saying the reason this game is good is because of him. Maybe its because the rest of the game just isn't fun and they are desperately trying to grab onto something to like.

The combat is repetitive, the story is weak, the narrator is annoying, and the kid who although is somewhat interesting doesn't do shit for the game. The art isn't bad but the level design is pretty shitty from a gameplay perspective. I don't play games for art, I play games for gameplay. Any kind of art is bonus like Child of Light.